The Back Cover:
Manipulation, threats, and anger only lead to harm and hurt feelings. Horse whisperers know that the best way to communicate in relationships is with a touch of gentleness. In The Husband Whisperer, Kevin Hinckley (MEd, LPC) shows women how to use their divine nature and to listen to the Spirit in order to bring peace into their marriages.
If you're looking for a way to manipulate your husband into doing what you want, this is NOT the book for you. Instead of focusing on the husbands behaviors and how they need to change to make a marriage better, the book talks about things a wife can do or change about herself that will make the marriage better.
In the beginning of the book, Hinckley talks about horse whispering and the difference between horse whispering and breaking a horse.
The process of breaking a horse is not calm, serene, or peaceful; it is a struggle, sometimes a violent one, that is a battle of wills with the stronger entity becoming the victor. The horse is often beaten down through relentless force and eventually succumbs to its master.
So often in a marriage, that same struggle takes place but the husband and wife don't see what they are doing. They argue, scream, throw things, or take up a stony silence, and see who will give in first. However, both people lose in this kind of war. Harsh words and sharp criticism can beat down a man or woman just as easily as a fist; only with words, the bruises aren't visible.
The Husband Whisperer gives precise direction in how to go from a battle of wills to working together and it all begins with you. That's right, YOU, not your spouse.
Equal and Opposite ReactionEvery action we take has a consequence. Or, to put it more scientifically, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If you can change your behavior, you can change your marriage.
"But I'm not the problem," you say.
To that I ask, "Are you sure about that?"
Hinckley goes through several scenarios in the book that sounded awfully familiar, yet not once did I feel as though he was saying, "It's all your fault." In fact, if you think that your husband is the problem and he'll never change and things will never get better, then this book can give you hope because there is something you can do. You don't have to wait around for someone else to change, not when you can start the process. And, once you've started the process, you'll see the equal and opposite reaction.
For example, if you are a yeller, someone who thinks they have to be the loudest one in the house or no one will listen to them, you can change that. It will take time. Rewriting a script that everyone has memorized means people have to learn new lines; but things will get better and you won't have to yell and scream anymore to get them to hear you.