Heavy Edits

I feel like a pirate writer. I just want to yell: AARGGGHHH!

I've slashed my way through my current MS in a way I would have considered down right dangerous before today. I have several story lines in the one book. It's political, it's love story and it's military all in one. Each part of the story creates consequences for the others so I've kept it together in one file. Unfortunately, things are getting neglected because the scenes around them are so big it's hard to find them under all that muscle.

So I dissected it. Like a pirate gutting an octopus. (Do pirates eat octopus. I've heard it's good but I've never tried it myself.)

I took out all the scenes relating to the love story and I'm going to work on those first. Then I took out all the political scenes and then all the military ones. I have three different files and feel like I've voluntarily climbed onto the plank.

Have you ever done something like this to your manuscript before? Was it worth it? Do you have any tips for a girl's first time committing piracy?

My list of naughty words

Last week I promised the complete list of naughty words that I search and destroy during the editing process. This process is so specific that it forces my inner editor out of the dark hole she prefers and into the light of day. It's like waking a sleeping bear; once I poke her a few times with these words, she comes out roaring. So this is always my first step in editing.

Here it is, feel free to add some of your own in the comments.

ly

of

that

was/were

his/her

very

every

only

had

seemed

looked 

Tighten up your writing - Week 4

Three weeks of frightening words are behind us. We're now ready to tackle the major one, the big daddy of them all -

LY
Ly words. I can't count the number of times my teachers would tell me to add descriptive words and I would fall on the ol' ly's. The sad part? They ate it up! It's not that they are evil or anything. But Stephen King in On Writing, says a good writer never uses an ly word.

I've tried to rid my writing of them but haven't been able to do it completely. :-) It is, however, something I'm continually working on.  (On a side note - if I used curse words in place of ly words, I could get rid of them all. I choose not to take that route.)

Let's take a look at an easy fix.

"Fera ran quickly from the room."

Why is this an easy fix? Because quickly is redundant. If you're going to run, you're going to do it quickly. Otherwise, pick another word; jogged, ambled, skipped and etc.

One more example...

"Fera wore an extremely large diamond."

You saw it, didn't you? Your inner editor screamed, "Huge - just type huge!!!" or gargantuan or empire or twenty other words that mean extremely large.

So that wraps up my mini-series on single word edits. I hope it's been helpful for you to take such a specific look at your word choice. Let me know if you've found your own naughty words. I am a firm believer in the power of words and even one word can have a gargantuan affect on your reader. Happy writing!

Tighten up your writing - Week 3

We are in our third week of searching out those specific words that give us trouble. This week, let's look at a wishy-washy word.

Seemed
Oh, the word!

"It seemed out of character for Fara to flirt."

"Well was it or wasn't it? Make up your mind!" says my beady-eyed, internal editor. Oh, here's another one.

"It seemed like she had a hard time sharing her feelings."

That's telling not showing. Paint the picture.

"Fara chewed on her lip and twisted the program in her delicate hands. She opened her mouth, shutting it again before she embarrassed herself."

When I see the word seemed pop up in my WIP, I know I'm telling the reader something that I could be showing them. Showing the reader, allows them to get to know my character and believe it. The difference is second-hand gossip versus a personal account.

Do you have a wishy-washy word? Feel free to share it because sometimes we don't recognize them until someone points them out.

Tighten up your writing - Week 2

Last week I introduced to you my list of naughty words. (Words that lead to passive voice or are used as a crutch.) Let's keep it going and bring in a few more.

His/Her
People vary on the amount of description they like to write or read for that matter. Some enjoy long paragraphs detailing gardens or ball rooms while others skip it all and read the dialog. Whatever your taste, description should be written just as conscience as any other section in your WIP.

"George had a silver ring on his finger."

Why is this a flag word? Because it alerts me to wordiness. My wicked little editor, who I believe has short, spiky hair, would change it to this:

"George wore a silver ring."

Because, in all honesty, we know he's wearing it on his finger because that's were we wear rings. My editor says to give my readers credit and shorten it up.

Only

This is my whiny word. It's also a lazy word for me to use.

"Fera only wanted one dance with George."

There's no image here; no getting into the character's head.

"Fera wanted one dance with George. One dance to take home in her heart."

This is one of the few times when I add words while I edit. Explain the only. Why is it only one? This clarifies my character's motivations. Whether my reader agrees with them or not is a whole other blog post.

Does this help? Are these some of your trouble words?

Tighten up your writing - Week 1

I believe it was Stephen King in, On Writing, who said that good writing is the first draft minus 10%. For the next few blog posts I'd like to share some of the 10% I take out in the hopes that it will help you, dear reader, improve your writing.

I have a list, it's not a long list, of words to search out and destroy. I keep the list on an ever present post-it note on my office wall. While drafting, I turn my back on the list and let the words flow - even the passive ones! Then, when my evil editor enters the scene, she pulls the list off the wall with a wicked smile because she's going to use it to blast holes in my beautiful (not) first draft. Here are two of her favorite targets.

Had Been
"Fera had been wanting to tell George her feelings; but refrained out of respect for his missing wife."

Cheesy writing aside, what is wrong with this sentence? There's a distance there. It's like Fera stepped outside of herself, analyzed her feelings, without feeling them all that strong. When I read stuff like this I want to scream, well did she want to or not?

"Fera wanted to tell George her feelings, but refrained out of respect for his missing wife."

Can't you feel her wanting now? Now it's personal. Now the reader is sucked into Fera's desire. It also reads faster so readers have less time to worry about their own lives or let their minds wander.

WAS
"Fera was crying out her frustrations while George was walking away."

(Yuck!) Doesn't reading that just make it feel like someone shoved your computer three feet away. It should. Passive voice distances the reader and makes it difficult for them to become involved in the story.

"Fera cried out her frustrations while George walked away."

Now that I can visualize. The first sentence is just words, the second sentence is a picture. That's what we want to write, pictures.

So now that you know this, you can start your own list of words to search out and destroy. Word's search and find tool is so helpful in editing.

What are your trigger words? Are there some you rely in when you get lazy or just because they're a habit?

Balance

This is a big one for a lot of people. How do you balance your writing with the rest of your life? I'm not so sure it's a balance thing. Balance implies precision, exactness, equality. None of those characteristics really apply to writing or to life in general.

So let's throw the whole idea of balance out the window with a good grunt and move on, shall we?.

Becoming a writer*, which will lead to becoming an author*, is simple. Sit down (or stand up I really don't care) and write.

Write. Write. Write.

Write while the kids play in the other room or at your feet, write while dinner simmers on the stove, write in the wee hours of the morning, write in the late hours of the night, write while you wait at the dentist or in the parking lot of the school. I had a friend who borrowed her neighbors spare bedroom for a couple weeks just to finish up a project. (It turned out fabulous, by the way, and she's living the rock star lifestyle.)


It all comes down to this little saying that hovers over my every day: If it's important to you, you'll find a way; if not, you'll find an excuse.

And that's it. There's no magic formula, no magic spell to get your kids out of your hair, no magic beans to transport you away. There's just you and your dream and your desire to make it happen.


*A writer is someone who writes, an author is published.

Tags

On the subject of tags. No not the kind that the boys used to poke out of their shirts so girls would reach behind and tuck them back in. I’m talking about a different kind of tag. The kind of tag that tells you who is speaking. There’s a rule. It’s unofficial. I’ve never seen a place where these rules are written down – unless you count the several dozen books on writing I’ve digested over the last five years.

Anywho...

Here’s what I hear from agents/writers/editors and the like: stick with said/answered/asked. (Although, in my opinion – which counts for like, nothing - the asked is redundant if there’s a question mark.)

Apparently, the reader’s mind doesn’t actually read those words. They skim the meaning by the shape of the letters. So they register the character’s name by the first letter of their name and completely skip the said/answered/asked. If you add more, it interrupts the reader’s flow.

For example: “I hate peanut brittle,” John drawled. “It always sticks to my teeth.

Vs.: “I hate peanut brittle,” said John. “It always sticks to my teeth.”

Even better: “I hate peanut brittle,” John said as he chewed the candy like a cow working its cud. (Can you tell why? There’s a little more show in this one and a little less tell. I don’t tell you it sticks to John’s teeth; I show you by the way he chews.)

Let me just do one more example.

“Do you like peanut brittle?” Sarah asked.

Isn’t it obvious she asked by the fact that there is a question mark? So I find asked a little redundant. (But that might be the proofreader on the one side of my brain who likes to poke things with a sharp stick.)

You might try to fix it like this:

“Do you like peanut brittle?” Sarah asked with a shy smile.

Little better, but try this.

“Do you like peanut brittle?” Sarah’s soft, round eyes were wells of hope. Caught in their depth, John found himself reaching for the largest piece.

So, stick to the basics. Said/Answered/Asked and if you can get away with it – get rid of asked. 

Tool box

“Just write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers.”
—Ray Bradbury, WD


I'd love to have a pleasant career as a writer; but, from the writers I know, it's more work that pleasantness, more rejection than acceptance, more reality checks than pay checks. 


Why is that?


Here's what I think. I think there is a time to pay your dues. A time to build your career. Just like any other occupation, you don't start at the top - you climb to it. Climb like your driven to see the summit. 


Here are three steps (of the many thousand) to making that climb:


1. Learn to write well. No matter the size of your natural talent there will a learning curve. Take a class, attend a conference, read on-line helps and buy books. 

“It’s none of their business that you have to learn to write. Let them think you were born that way.”

—Ernest Hemingway

I love that quote, because invariably, there will be people who think you are so talented - let them think that!

2. Find good readers. You need people that will tell it like it is. I recently had a person move into the neighborhood who turned out to be a writer. We decided to exchange manuscripts. I can't tell you how valuable her comments were because she didn't care about my feelings. She's awesome!!


3. Read. Read everything. Stay in love with the written word. When you are searching for a phrase or pulled the story out of the deep, painful hole it's buried itself in you need to remember why you love what you do. Reading can keep that love fresh.


What dues have you paid? How many years did you write before your first book was published? What was the best thing you ever did for your career?

Now that's a problem

Every story has to have a problem to make it interesting. No one wants to read about the guy romancing the girl and she falls happily in love and they live forever in a state of innocent bliss.

And why not? Because deep down we know that if we don't face and overcome challenges we can't grow. We want to gain strength from reading about other people, albeit fictional people, and their ability to face the un-face-able and come off conquering.

If they can do it, by darn it, so can we!

What types of problems can your hero face? Here's a quick list:
Life/safety, relationship, freedom, self respect, control, hardship, justice or lack of it, old secrets, odd events, hardships, loss, threat of loss, acceptance, and family issues.

Does your hero have a problem? Can you give him/her more than one?

Cut, cut, cut

I've spent the last two weeks overhauling a MS I wasn't sure I ever wanted to see again.
You know how it goes, you write then edit, edit, edit, edit, edit and then you can't see the project anymore because your mind is all wrapped up in the technicalities. It's wrapped so tight that the idea of going through it - just one more time - makes you want to cry.

That's where I was. And hand-in-hand with what I'll call "Editing Blindness" where you no longer see the faults, comes despair ushered forth by mindless whispering.
"It will take too much work to get this ready for publication."
"It would be easier to start on something new."
"It's probably not good enough to publish, I should just set it aside."

Well, I did set it aside. Not because I wanted to give up on it, but because I needed a break.

Kind of like when you've just started in an intense relationship with a person you think is "the one." Three months into it, you just need air.

So you break it off.

A month later, you bump into that guy/girl and realize they are amazing. You chat, decide to give it just one more date. That one date leads to another and another. Your cautious. No jumping into the deep end here. A chapter at a time you see the faults, you decide if you can live with them or not. In the end, you see why you loved this MS and it will always hold a special place in your heart; but it's time to send it off to someone new -

 AN AGENT!!!

One of the changes that can be so hard is cutting. Cutting scenes, cutting characters, and just plain cutting words that were so hard to come up with in the first place made me shake. But I made myself do it because I had two criteria:
1) does the scene accomplish anything?
2) is this character a stand alone or can he/she be combined with someone else?

It's harsh because sometimes the answer to number 1 was no and sometimes the answer to number 2 was yes and I had to say farewell.

Is it worth it? Yes. In the end, my MS is much better off without the extra scenes/players/words. Have you ever had to cut something that hurt?

Stand Alone or Series?

  

Does it feel like there are a lot of series out there? It's soooo trendy to write/publish a series. I can see why. You invest all this time and effort into a writing a book (sizzle), promote it and the author (bang), and then it fizzles out. But, if you have a fantastic book, promote it while sizzling in the background, and have another BANG - you get more bang for your buck.

Here's another horrifying thought. You write a fantastic, over-the-moon novel and the publisher requests a second book, only YOU don't have one. That's what we call Shizzled. Ya got no sizzle and ya fizzled out.

So what do you do? How do you make a single book idea into a series? IF you are already doing a series, you're there. You've done your outline. You know that the red cat in chapter three of book one will be important in chapter 17 of book two AND the final scene of book three. If you're shizzled - read on.

Book one in a series usually deals with your mc "becoming" who or what they are intended to be. "What do you mean I'm an alien from Zordoc with mind reading powers and a tail?" How does your character cope with this and eventually accept themselves and/or the power they wield? Great book one. Bravo. Moving on to book two.

Book two in a series can do several different things. One is for the hero to find balance. Living in the world/finding happiness/finding love and etc and still being true to the person they became in book one.

Book two can reveal more of the world. Remember that awesome scene you had to take out of book one because it was too much information? I hope you held on to it because book two is the perfect place to fill us in.

Lastly, book two can show us what your mc does when the world falls down around them. Literally, have their world fall apart. Have the bad guy come out on top (Empire Strikes Back anyone?) and have your reader wonder how your mc will ever get to their happy place.

The key to a successful book two is to give your reader more of what they loved in the first book without repeating yourself - sounds easy right? (I heard you say, "Shizzle - no it ain't." To which I say, "Watch your grammar!")

I'll give you a movie example.

Hello, Spider Man.

In the first movie, Spider Man learns who he is. He learns that he has power/s. And, he learns that (say it with me now) "With great power comes great responsibility." Great first movie. The evolution of a man er spider man and his acceptance of his role in the world. Makes for a great story.

Second movie: Spider Man knows who he is. He knows what his job is. He just doesn't know how to be true to the love in his heart and still be the hero. Can he have both a life and a super job? Now this is good stuff. Why do we care? Because we all feel that. How do we balance our personal life with the outside world's demands on our time. Just because my demands come in the form of small children doesn't mean I don't feel that same pressure. 

The second movie has all the elements we loved from the first movie. We have a handsome hero, the beautiful girl, the tech savvy villain who morphs himself into a monster, we have fight scenes, cool moves and the ability to fly through the city while taking out the low-grade thugs who get less than 30 seconds of film time.

Can you see how they didn't mess with the formula? People would have hated it if Spider Man were up against a group of mobsters from the 1950's. We want a cyborg, or a mutant by darn it and you had better give us one.

Don't mess with the formula. 

What is your formula? Do you know? Can you identify it? More importantly, can you reproduce it? I'm sure, with all your creative abilities, you can. So go, write, but remember, "With great word power comes great writing responsibility."

Easy fixes for writers

Another post from a Storymakers class. This class was taught by Weronkika Janczuk. I really enjoyed her ideas. Thankfully, she was a fast talker so she crammed three hours of knowledge into the 50 minutes. It was awesome.

1. First chapters: See what you are writing. If you can't see it in your head your reader won't see it either. Start as late as possible into the story - no information dumps and don't introduce too many characters.

2. The story's framework: Every scene should have an internal (emotional) and external (plot related) turning point. Chapters should start and end as soon as possible.

3. Avoid information dumps: Present your major conflict in the first 50 pages. Only convey info about the world when you have to.

4. He saw: You do not need to use the words "he saw/heard/smelled/tasted" unless he couldn't do those things before. Example: He saw the blue bird fly across the park. Better: A blue bird flew across the park. The first one takes us out of the characters head and the second one puts us in it.

5. Have your character move. Don't have them sit and ponder, get them moving.

Pinch me

It's real!



You see that book up there?

It has a name on it.

Guess whose name it is.

Mine!


Yep. I got the advanced copy just the other day. I LOVE the bright blue color. It's so spring. Which, by the way, is when the book will officially be on shelves. I'll keep you posted.